balls Dad Jokes

1. Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
2. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
3. What do you call a pile of cats? A meow-tain.
4. What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt!
5. Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
6. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
7. Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!
8. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
9. What did the firefly say to the other? "You light up my life!"
10. Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs.
11. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
12. Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
13. Why was the calendar afraid? Its days were numbered.
14. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.
15. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
16. What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house? The living room.
17. What do you call a fish who practices medicine? A sturgeon.
18. Why don’t you ever see pigs playing poker in the wild? Because there are too many cheetahs!
19. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
20. Why don’t skeletons ever fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
21. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
22. How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it.
23. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
24. Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
25. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
26. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
27. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
28. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.
29. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
30. What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
31. What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Nothing but let out a little wine.
32. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
33. Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks.
34. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
35. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
36. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
37. Why was the broom late? It swept in.
38. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
39. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
40. Why did the chicken cross the road?
41. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
42. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
43. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
44. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
45. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know y.
46. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
47. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
48. Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the "P" is silent.
49. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
50. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
51. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese.
52. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.
53. Why don't eggs tell jokes? Because they'd crack each other up.
54. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
55. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
56. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
57. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
58. What’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? Live stream.
59. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
60. I couldn't figure out how to put my seatbelt on. Then it "clicked"!
61. Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint.
62. Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
63. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.
64. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
65. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
66. What do you call a pile of cats? A meow-tain.
67. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
68. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
69. Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they'd be bagels.
70. What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Nothing but let out a little wine.
71. Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the other side.
72. What did one hat say to the other? Stay here, I'm going on ahead.
73. Why don’t skeletons ever go trick-or-treating? Because they have no body to go with.
74. I’m afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.
75. Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
76. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
77. What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house? The living room.
78. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
79. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
80. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
81. What does a cloud wear under his raincoat? Thunderwear.
82. Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs.
83. What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hey, bud!
84. Why can’t you trust stairs? They’re always up to something.
85. How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it.
86. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
87. Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus.
88. What do you call a fish who practices medicine? A sturgeon.
89. What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
90. What do you call a pile of kittens? A meow-tain.
91. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
92. What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house? The living room.
93. What did one plate say to the other? Lunch is on me.
94. Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
95. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog? Frostbite.
96. Why don't skeletons like parties? They have no body to dance with.
97. What do you get if you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite.
98. Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
99. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
100. Why did the scarecrow get promoted? Because he was outstanding in his field.
101. What do you call an angry carrot? A steamed vegetable.
102. Why don't skeletons play music in church? They don’t have organs.
103. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
104. What did one firefly say to the other? "You light up my life!"
105. Why can't you trust an atom? They make up everything!
106. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
107. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
108. What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant? Swimming trunks.
109. What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Nothing but let out a little wine.
110. Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they’d be chicken sedans.
111. Why was the stadium so hot? Because all the fans left.
112. What do you call a fish who practices medicine? A sturgeon.
113. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
114. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
115. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing but let out a little wine.
116. What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt!
117. Why did the belt get arrested? For holding up a pair of pants.
118. Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
119. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
120. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
121. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
122. Why was the calendar afraid? Its days were numbered.
123. What did the coffee say to the sugar? You’re sweet!
124. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
125. Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
126. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant.
127. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
128. What do you call a bear that’s stuck in the rain? A drizzly bear.
129. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
130. What did one hat say to the other? Stay here, I'm going on ahead.
131. Why don’t skeletons ever fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
132. Why was the broom late? It swept in.
133. What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hey, bud!
134. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.
135. Why did the stadium get so hot? Because all the fans left.
136. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
137. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing but let out a little wine.
138. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
139. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
140. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
141. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
142. Why don't eggs tell jokes? Because they'd crack each other up.
143. Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the other side.
144. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
145. Why don't skeletons ever fight each other? They don't have the guts.
146. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
147. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
148. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
149. Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
150. Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re shellfish.
151. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
152. Why do fish live in saltwater? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
153. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
154. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
155. What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam!
156. Why can’t you trust stairs? They’re always up to something.
157. Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants.
158. Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be bagels.
159. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
160. What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
161. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
162. Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
163. Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they’d be chicken sedans.
164. Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus.
165. What do you call a fish who practices medicine? A sturgeon.
166. Why don’t skeletons play music in church? They don’t have organs.
167. What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt!
168. Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
169. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
170. What did the firefly say to the other? "You light up my life!"
171. What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house? The living room.
172. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
173. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
174. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
175. Why don't skeletons like to go trick-or-treating? They have no body to go with.
176. Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
177. What do you call a pile of kittens? A meow-tain.
178. Why can’t you trust an atom? They make up everything!
179. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing but let out a little wine.
180. Why don’t skeletons ever fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
181. What did one hat say to the other? Stay here, I’m going on ahead.
182. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
183. What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house? The living room.
184. Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
185. What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
186. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
187. What’s green and sings? Elvis Parsley.
188. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
189. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
190. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
191. What’s green and sings? Elvis Parsley.
192. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
193. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
194. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
195. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
196. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
197. What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
198. What’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? Live stream.
199. What do you call a pile of cats? A meow-tain.
200. Why don't skeletons ever fight each other? They don't have the guts.
201. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
202. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
203. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
204. Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks.
205. What did one wall say to the other? I'll meet you at the corner.
206. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
207. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
208. What did one snowman say to the other? Do you smell carrots?
209. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up.
210. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
211. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
212. Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!
213. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
214. What do you call a pile of cats? A meow-tain.
215. Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
216. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
217. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
218. What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Nothing but let out a little wine.
219. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
220. Why don't skeletons play music in church? They don't have organs.
221. What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
222. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.
223. What do you call a fish who practices medicine? A sturgeon.
224. What did the firefly say to the other? "You light up my life!"
225. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
226. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
227. What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house? The living room.
228. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
229. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
230. What do you call a pile of kittens? A meow-tain.
231. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
232. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
233. Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants.
234. What did one hat say to the other? Stay here, I’m going on ahead.
235. Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
236. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
237. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant.
238. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
239. Why don’t skeletons like to go trick-or-treating? They have no body to go with.
240. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
241. Why don't skeletons ever fight each other? They don't have the guts.
242. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
243. Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus.
244. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
245. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
246. Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the other side.
247. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
248. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
249. Why don’t skeletons like to go to parties? They have no body to dance with.
250. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
251. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
252. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
253. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
254. What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt!
255. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
256. Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
257. What do you call a fish who practices medicine? A sturgeon.
258. What did the coffee say to the sugar? You’re sweet!
259. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
260. What did one plate say to the other? Lunch is on me.
261. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
262. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
263. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
264. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
265. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
266. What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
267. Why was the broom late? It swept in.
268. What did one snowman say to the other? Do you smell carrots?
269. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
270. What do you call a pile of cats? A meow-tain.
271. Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.